Family

When I was little, I wanted nothing more than to get married and have my own children. I felt like I was destined to be a mother and I COULD NOT WAIT to have my own family and create my own memories as a mom. Rick and I have always been on the same page as far as the family we wanted. At first we said 4 kids, but then we had 2 and reality set in.... and we thought 3 would be a good compromise.

Andrew was first. Oh, my.... maybe I wasn't destined to be a mother. That boy wore me out. I cried for the first 14 weeks of his life. I didn't know it was possible for a baby to scream that much. But, Andrew eventually let go of the screaming and four years later we have this amazing, smart and incredibly handsome little man. Everyday he amazes me with the things he says and knows and wants to learn. I see so much of myself in that little boy. His desire to be a perfectionist, his weird little quirks, and his controlling nature.... yep, that is all from mama. And, his stunning good looks... that is from me too. (Daddy might have contributed to the intelligence, but until Rick learns to use the washing machine I won't admit to that!) Andrew is such a blessing to us and we love him more than words could ever express.

I was certain baby #2 was a girl. My pregnancies were so different! I had no symptoms with Andrew... nothing! But with Matthew, I was throwing up, I had headaches.... I carried the baby different. I thought for sure... this is Emma Grace. Then, we found out it was a boy and I cried. Like a selfish brat, I just cried. But then, on June 11 this perfect little creature was handed to me. Oh my gosh, I was in love. From the moment I met him I knew he was a good one. The most laid back, tender hearted little boy you could ever imagine. I remember rocking him as a baby and thinking "how could you cry about this..." My little Matthew, which means "a gift from God" was really just that.... a true gift from God. To this day, he fills me with so much happiness that it is almost overwhelming.

After Matthew, I prayed hard. Every night. There was not a night that went by when I did not pray. I asked God to give me a girl. I prayed for Emma Grace. But, I always had the same prayer. I told God that if I was not meant to carry Emma Grace that he would lead me to her in another way. I knew that if I was meant to have a boy, I was going to have a boy. There are no mistakes in this world. We got pregnant again, but the excitement did not last long because it ended quickly in a miscarriage. Maybe that was my Emma Grace. Maybe I won't meet her until I get to heaven.

But, God gave me another little baby. Oh, the excitement. The boys love talking about their baby. Andrew wants a sister, Matthew wants a "girl" but he doesn't even know what a girl is. Mama wants a healthy baby. I want a little baby that is so happy and so healthy. I want to see this little baby grow to do good things in the world and create memories with our family. I want to see what God has planned for my family. I want my boys....ALL of them, to be strong Christian men that are nothing but a bright light in this world. I know God heard my prayers about Emma Grace. But, he has a bigger plan for our family right now. I am excited to see how Emma Grace will join our family. But enough of that.....we have some celebrating to do. I am so happy to announce that the Fischer family has another boy on the way, and there won't be any tears this time!