New York update!

We have been in NYC since Tuesday. We met with Dr. Alam on Wednesday and actually spent all day at the hospital. We did her renal u/s first, then spoke with Alam, and then he did her urodynamics test. Although Hannah has been healthy (infection free) for the last 9 months, and growing strong, her bladder has worsened. Alam reviewed the u/s before talking to us, and the first thing he said when he saw me was, "we have some work to do." The urodynamics test confirmed what was seen in the u/s, her bladder is losing capacity. So, we added another procedure to our laundry list: Hannah will need a bladder augmentation on Monday as well. Everything else will continue as planned. Her ureterocele will be fixed and her duplicated ureter will be removed. The great news is that this should be it! This will be Hannah's last reconstructive surgery, assuming all goes as planned. :) On a happy note, her remaining kidney is healthy and strong. Her levels are also strong, so for that we are thankful! If we can get this bladder in shape, we will be in business. We had a little hiccup at the hospital. Hannah has a small heart condition and it is still unknown if it is serious or not... Well, it was enough to freak out the anesthesiologist, so at the last minute we had to get clearance from a cardiologist. That took up several hours in our day, but thankfully, all was well. Her heart looks good, and he said the same thing as the other 2 cardiologists: just watch it and consider genetics testing.

The first night here, some of my friends from the adoption community picked us up and took us to dinner in china town. It was fun! It was nice to eat with locals, who knew where to go and ordered all the food. Hannah, my mom, and I gobbled it all up. Delicious! It was also so fun to see sweet Josiah again. I last saw him 2 years ago. He was covered in chicken pox and couldn't go to school. So I played a game with him on his orphanage floor. His family is amazing. We had a great time together, and even got some Chinese ice cream afterwards. Yummy!!! Hannah, of course, was in heaven. They spoke to her in mandarin, and she would respond with head shakes. It appears that she still understands, which I find to be fascinating. I wish we were more aggressive in saving her language. 

We spent the next few days playing around in the city. We went to Central Park and took a carriage ride, went to the children's zoo, had lunch at serendipity, then went to FA0 Schwartz to look around. On Friday, we went to ground zero and visited the World Trade Center memorials, and then walked battery park. We also practiced on the subway, and lets just say we aren't proficient New Yorkers. Good grief, what a complicated system... I am certain a man designed it. ;)

On Saturday, we had brunch and just hung around the room. We ate at EJ's which is a popular choice around here. We got called around 1:00 that our bed was ready, so Hannah and I headed out to the hospital around 3:00.

Our first night in the hospital was a doozy and I was starting to doubt our decision to come here. We do not have a private room, so we get to listen to other people moan and groan in pain. The bathrooms in the room are for patients only, so parents have to cross the building just to PEE!! Also, the shower is in a public waiting room area. I am not diggin that! Then, they wanted to place a picc line in the room. I knew it was a bad idea, but I let them try. They gave Hannah meds to "relax" her but it didn't work. It was a horrible experience, and after several jabs and what felt like forever, I finally asked them to stop. We had 2 failed IV attempts and by this point it was getting late. Hannah, through all of this, had lost her mind and was climbing all over the bed and could hardly walk she was so loopy. The meds caused her to get really hyper, like a bad drunk! One minute she would be crying, then grabbing things in front of her face that weren't there, and then climbing around the bed like a monkey. It was exhausting. I couldn't leave her to get food, so she missed dinner and the next day was liquids only. The hospital couldn't order food, because the order already said liquids only. It was just one bad thing after another, and this whole time our roommate was moaning in pain. A NICU nurse came in at 10:30, hannah was asleep, and said she would only try one time for a stick. I was crying at this point and told her she got ONE try and then we were done until morning. Thankfully, she got it. I went to bed that night reminding myself that we are here for Alam... The only one capable of performing these procedures. I told myself to let it go and toughen up!

Today has been great. I am rebelling and using the bathroom in my room. :) Hannah's IV didn't go bad, and her bowel prep was easy peasy. She was happy and content most of the day. My mom came and sat with her so I could venture back to the Ronald McDonald house and shower. Hannah is in great spirits. She had a shower and took a little walk and went to bed easily tonight. I am hoping we can both rest because tomorrow is a big day! Her surgery is at 8:00 am, so prep will start about 7. I am so nervous but trusting the ONE who made her and who has sustained her. She is with one of the most skilled surgeons in the world. It will just be a nail-biting kind of day as we wait for her to get out of this 12 hour surgery!

Here are a few pictures:

This was Hannah today... Very happy!

There is an ice cream shop across from the RMH. She enjoyed an ice cream cone before we left for the hospital. By the way: RMH is awesome! I will write more about that later.

She needed one of these shirts! We will be frequent visitors to the city to visit with Dr. Alam.

Riding the rails!

Yummy!!! Frozen hot chocolate from serendipity.

Our carriage ride...

Our Chinese dinner... It was so yummy! I love this picture of 2 precious SFCV kids!

Easter 2014

Happy Easter! (Updating my blog is a lot easier with a blogger app!) 

We had a great day and I am happy to announce that I did not have to take Timmy to church in his underwear this year. He wasn't happy with the outfit, but he put it on! Big improvement from last year. My kids had fun eating tons of candy and going on an egg hunt. This was Hannah's first Easter home with us.

One year later...

We made it. The first year of an adoption is always the hardest, and this one was certainly not any different. When I look back over the last year, it is hard to believe that it has been that long, but at the same time, I feel like we have aged and been through so much. 

 

I remember that little girl we met in China. We were thrilled with how healthy she appeared, especially since we knew she had been to hell and back for the better part of her 3.5 years of life. 5 major operations, 2 life threatening infections, several close calls in the hospital where her ayis were told she would not make it....even that skinny and sad child I met in 2012 on a mission trip were not even close to the child that was placed in my arms in April 2013. She was chubby and happy, thanks to the staff at Shepherd's Field. This child that had feared strangers and people for her 3 years in the foster village, came to us with open arms and completely accepted us from the moment she met us. This little girl was so excited to show us her house and her bed, but once she said good-bye that night, she did not want to go back. She knew.

I remember our first night together. She cried. I knew not to take her clothes off or force any new change on her. She fought sleep so bad that night. I had to put goldfish crackers in the middle of the bed, between Rick and I, so she would climb up and sit in between us. She sat up for hours, refusing to sleep, keeping her guard up. I would doze in and out of sleep (after all, I had been awake for over 24 hours at this point!) and notice that she was falling asleep sitting up. She finally, at some point in the night took her shoes off and laid down. She finally gave in.

I remember the fears I had on the flight over. A 24 hour journey across the world, little sleep on a plane, and I was going to get in a car and drive straight to her foster village. Her ayis were going to teach me how to care for her. I worried that I would be too tired and out of it to understand. I worried about the first night, if I would know what to do. I worried about all the medicine we were told to give her, wondering what is was for. I worried about how we were going to travel around China for 2 weeks with Hannah in her current condition. Of course, it was all fine. We survived the first night and our 2 week trip in China.

This year had many ups and downs. Some months I wanted to crawl into a hole and cry, other months I just stood back and watched her in awe as she blossomed and flourished. Most of the hard moments were to due to medical tests that didn't turn out how we wanted, or recoveries that proved to be a bit more challenging than expected. But, at the end of the day, we survived. She loves us and we love her, completely and forever.

We are so thankful and blessed to have this little girl in our life. She has taught us so much. Here is a little girl that has every right to be fearful, angry, and sad. Yet, she is joyful. She loves so big. God certainly protected her spirit and guarded her heart. She loves everything that a little girl should love. She adores princesses, the colors pink and purple, dresses, sparkles, shoes, purses, playing pretend, arts and crafts, taking care of her babies. She doesn't just walk, she prances around the house, spinning and twirling. I am amazed at how her little personality has flourished this year.

Happy gotcha day to our special princess!

April 11, 2013
This is the day we met. I was shocked at how much weight she had gained in 9 months, the last time I saw her.

April 10, 2014
This is my big girl now. Healthy and thriving.

She was laughing at her brothers.

The grass was tickling her feet and she didn't like it!

Wacky Tacky

My little people were excited to have wacky tacky day at school! Daddy was in charge of the outfits. This was a perfect job for him because everything he picks out is normally tacky and does not match! The kids looked forward to this for days. Timmy was just excited to wear his pj pants to school and Emma wanted to be as silly as possible. Hannah did great, but she needed a tutu so her outfit met her princess status.

A little bit of this and a little bit of that...

It has been awhile since I have updated. We have been crazy busy, but I am now finally starting to catch my breath. I am counting down the days until Christmas break when I can really slow down and get caught up on life! I just recently completed ALL 5 photobooks for my children, personalized for each one. I am so happy that job is finished, but going through all those pictures made me want to update the blog! Here is just a small update.

Here are the kiddos in mid November. I took them out to get fall pictures. Hannah has changed so much since our family pictures in June and I wanted an updated photo for our Christmas card this year.

 

Hannah has recovered wonderfully since her surgery on September 30. I'm not going to lie- that first month was one of the hardest months of my life. Hannah was having a difficult time adjusting to her new body, and we were having a hard time managing it while also being a parent to our other 4 children and working full time. It was one of those I-just-want-to-crawl-into-a-fetal-position-and-cry-my-eyes-out kinda months. We are on the other side of it now, and I am so thankful. There were many nights I cried myself to sleep wondering what kind of quality of life my daughter was going to have. I had to tell myself to knock it off, toughen up, and do the best I could. Thankfully I realize now her life will be just fine. On top of it all, she is darling, smart, beautiful, and growing like a weed. What more could I ask for?

This was Hannah just a few hours out of surgery.

And this is Hannah now. She is doing so great. The doctors are so amazed at her recovery and really optimistic about her future. We have one more surgery to go, as we tackle the right kidney this summer. I know we have some more battles to fight in the future, so we are trying to enjoy this time of health over the next 6 months. She is talking a lot more (but difficult to understand) and has the best personality. She loves to play and laugh... it is just amazing to see this little girl now!

 

Andrew

 

Matthew

 

Timothy, on his beloved tractor.

 

 

These two pictures are from the day we met Emma Grace in October 2010. I will never forget that happy, but floppy baby we met in China.

3 years later, the same October day, this is my Emma Grace. She is AMAZING. She is so smart, active, and funny. She is such a blessing!

 

I just love this picture of my girls and their favorite babies!

Happy Birthday(s) to you!

We got home from China in April. Andrew had a birthday the end of April, then Matthew in June and Emma in July. 

Emma Grace is now 4!!!!

Emma has found her voice this year. She is very verbal and communicates exactly what she is thinking and feeling with NO problem! She has a sense of humor that is unbelievable. The best one liners of any 4 year old I have met. She has so many facial expressions that she busts out at the most random times. She is all about "being fair" and has learned the line... "but that's not fair" in a perfect little whine. Here are some things to remember about our little girl:

*she loves baseball and has waited for so long to play t-ball. Her dreams will come true this fall when she finally gets to play!

*she loves Dora and will use a few spanish phrases periodically :)

*she loves hamburgers, rice, noodles, grapes, strawberry icing donuts, chips and salsa, pepperoni, coke and sprite.

*she still sucks her thumb to fall asleep. She also twists her hair at the same time. 

*She tells everyone she lost a tooth, but she actually never had one because that is where her cleft is. 

*she hates dresses, but since getting a new sister, she is wearing skirts more frequently and actually enjoying them.

*she loves to match her sister.

*her favorite activities are riding her bike, playing babies, playing pretend with her siblings, fighting bad guys, playing baseball and watching TV. She always asks for a "little kid show."

*she knows all of her letters and a word to start with each letter. She LOVES school!

*we call her "little mommy" because she is always telling everyone what to do!

*she celebrated her birthday with a baseball cake, all her siblings and best friend, Olivia, dressed like baseball players and we had a t-ball game in the backyard. 

My sweet Matthew is now 6 and getting ready to start 1st grade! Here are some things to remember about our big guy:

*he likes fighting bad guys and playing pretend with his siblings

*he fights like cats and dogs with Andrew... wears me out!

*he is reading so well and he also enjoys school!

*he still sleeps with his blue blankets

*he doesn't really have a "thing" he is really interested in, he like to play with everything and is game for anything!

*He is still playing baseball and moved up to machine pitch this fall. He did a great job.

*He is hands down the sweetest child you will ever meet. I mean... look at that face!

*Although sweet, a fierce little temper comes out of him at times. (He is often provoked by big brother, in his defense!)

*His teachers always adore him. He is an excellent math student and very good at mental math!

*He has not mastered riding his bike without training wheels, so he has pretty much avoided his bike. 

Andrew is now 8 and in 3rd grade:

*He is freakishly intelligent. He has critical thinking and reasoning skills that amaze me.

*Although he is brilliant, common sense doesn't come easily.

*He is afraid of everything... gets a little annoying.

*He fell in love with Harry Potter this year. He is on book 5 at the moment.

*BOOKS, BOOKS, BOOKS... this kid is always reading. He loves all types of books and is often reading 2 or 3 at a time. He will finish one, and then immediately go to the beginning and read it again.

*He has had the same core group of friends since Kindergarten and it is darling to see them grow up together and stay such sweet friends. His good 3rd grade friends are: Jackson, Zach, Aaron, Shelden, Charlie, Garrett.

* He is outgrowing legos, and really all toys. He enjoys video games, reading, and riding his bike or playing football/basketball outside. He is like a real boy now, my baby is totally gone. He loves his IPOD.

*Math is his best subject.

I started this post at the end of the summer, and since then we have had TWO more birthdays. Here are my other birthday kids:

Hannah is now 4! Her birthday is September 10, 2009

*Hannah loves the color pink and anything fancy or girly.

*She adores all types of princesses and wants to be one!

*She has an amazing memory and is very observant to what is going on around her.

*She loves Doc McStuffins.

*She loves to play pretend with her siblings. She likes to be the mommy.

*She loves babies and takes very good care of them, especially her beloved Chinese baby. 

*She is a fighter. She is one tough cookie!

*She will eat anything you put in front of her, but has a deep love for Chinese food. :) Of course!

*She loves to play outside and has now mastered riding a tricycle!

Timmy Boy is now 4! His birthday is October 19.

*He adores trains, trucks and TRACTORS!

*He has a freaky obsession about clothes. He will only wear the same pair of pants. His favorite pajama pants are worn with a giant hole, but he will only wear those when at home. His "dark" jeans are his favorite, and they are almost worn out, too! He has a new outfit for every season that he will attach to and where until it falls apart.

*He worries a lot

*He has the best giggle of any child I have met

*He is a puzzle wizard! He adores puzzles

*He loves TV and will watch just about any "little kid" show.

*He loves to play pretend with his siblings

*He pretty much lives on his bike (or tractor) if the weather is warm enough to be outside

*He loves to dig with his trucks in the sandbox

*He really doesn't eat much. He will eat cereal, applesauce, a variety of fruit, carrots with dip, ham and occasionally he will eat peanut butter sandwiches. He also likes pepperoni, chicken nuggets and cheese sticks!

*He is still not a good sleeper and is difficult to put to bed.

*When he cries, I think our neighbors could hear him.

*Everything he says is 10x louder than a normal child. (he is the youngest, and needs to make sure he is heard). 

*He cries (a lot)

*You can't help but to love him. He is so cute, so naughty, and so cuddly!

Update on Hannah

On Monday, September 30, Hannah had the surgery we have all been waiting for. We adopted Hannah knowing she had a colostomy that needed to be closed. We knew there were issues with her kidneys, but we had no idea the extent of those issues and the care that would be involved with that part of her body. Through many tests and opinions of experienced doctors, we finally feel like we understand our daughter's unique little body.

Dr. Frischer, who is a member of the Cincinnati colorectal team, closed Hannah's colostomy. Testing showed that there was nothing "unusual" to be on the look-out for, he was simply going to take two ends and put them together inside her body. Due to her many operations in China, he was expecting a great deal of scar tissue. He said the surgery could take anywhere from 2-7 hours, but he planned on about 3. Dr. Alam is her urologist and he specializes in children with urology issues due to anorectal malformations. He removed her left kidney because tests have confirmed that this kidney has NO function and was simply a threat for infection.

Both surgeries were successful, but not without obstacles. There was a significant amount of scar tissue, as was expected. After working through the scar tissue, Dr. Frischer found that her intestines were turned and twisted 180 degrees from what they should be. This would be a mistake made in her Chinese operations. This would also explain why her stomach was so lumpy by her stomas. This took a great deal of time to fix, but thankfully he was able to do it. After seeing the intestines, Dr. Frischer called Dr. Alam in to help and to get his opinion. They worked together for over 6 hours on her surgery. The left kidney was successfully removed, but we were devastated to learn why this kidney lost function. Her left ureter was tied off with a silk thread knot in a chinese operation. Her left kidney issue was not a congenital defect, it was caused by human hands. Dr. Alam found the knot and reported that her kidney had a lot of meat left on it. He thought about trying to save it, but the damage was too significant and could not be done. After hearing these 2 mistakes made in China, and the pain and discomfort it has caused Hannah, we were heartbroken. Hannah is now left with half of one kidney and Dr. Alam will work on the issues with her right kidney over the summer. We will be following him to his new location in New York City.

Hannah had a duplicated right kidney, and part of it was removed in China. She was also born with 2 ureters on the right side. One ureter is good, one is bad, but they are fused together and share the same blood supply. Dr. Alam will have to separate the two ureters and reimplant the good one. As you can imagine, this is a complicated surgery. There is also another issue with her bladder, and Dr. Alam will have to work carefully with the bladder. It is a shame that she will not have her left kidney to make up for the suffering on the right side, but we have to trust that this was all part of Hannah's plan. We also learned that Hannah's appendix was removed in China. This wouldn't be a big deal, but it is needed for the next surgery. Dr. Alam's job is now more complicated than it already was.

Hannah has been in the hospital for 5 days. She has not had anything to eat or drink since before surgery. We are hoping that today is the day where big things happen! Her NG tube was removed yesterday and all is good. They turned the suction off Friday morning and she tolerated it well. The tube was removed at 3:00, and she did great without it through the night. That means everything is working.... including Hannah's bowels! Her plumbing is in business and things are working like they should. She should get liquids today and solids tomorrow. Hopefully all of that will be tolerated and we can bust out of this place!

I am simply amazed with my little girl. She has been through hell and back and will have to continue to fight for the rest of her life, given the issues with her right kidney and bladder. She has suffered, and most of her suffering was a result of her orpan status and caused by inexpereinced surgeons. We are going to choose not to dwell on the past but look to the future. She is here for a reason and we get the honor and joy of watching her grow!

We arrived at the hospital bright and early Monday morning. She was ready!

This was shortly before they took her back.

This was 3 days post op. She busted out her first smile since surgery.

This is the way our girl has looked most of the week... sad. She has been very calm and has hardly cried. I think she wants to get home and know her life will continue on as it did before!

This is the first time she sat in a chair post op. It was quite a task working around all the tubes and cords! We haven't done much walking yet. She has a UTI, so they are keeping her in the room. We are both going crazy in this tiny little room!