The Letter

My family has been through a lot in the last 4 months. Hannah had a major reconstructive surgery in New York City, my grandfather passed away just a few days after the surgery, and then my sister-in-law and brother were in a tragic car accident that left my sister-in-law fighting for her life. It has been one wild ride, but there has been beauty in it, too.

A few weeks before the surgery my grandfather called me to thank me for a gift and to let me know he was praying for Hannah. He was also scheduled for surgery, and he talked about it like it really wasn't a big deal. But, it was a big deal, especially for a man his age and in his condition. He never left the hospital after that surgery. His heart failed.

My grandfather gave a Bible and a personal letter to each of my children. This is a treasure that we will keep and give to our children when they turn 18. What a special keepsake to read the words from your great grandfather, a man who lived a long life, and chances are you don't have a memory of. This man loved them, but most likely, they won't remember him because they were so young. We adopted Hannah in April 2013, and he had not yet given us a Bible for her. During our last phone call he did tell me that he had her Bible and her letter and would give it to me soon.

He was not able to give it to us. I left Hannah in the ICU with my mother in law, recovering from her surgery, and went to his funeral. At the funeral, they talked about how he read his Bible daily, and he didn't underline the verses that were meaningful, he put blocks around them. They shared some of his favorites.

After the funeral, my grandmother gave me Hannah's Bible and told me not to read the letter now. Well, I didn't listen, and I read it.

4-30-14

My Dear Great Granddaughter, 

I'm sitting in my home thinking what I want to tell you. We did not know each other very well living so far apart, however I wanted to let you know you're loved by all. As I sit here I am tired of so much rain and little sun. If you're reading this, then I have passed on. However, don't feel bad as I'm in Heaven under the custody of our Lord Jesus Christ. Hannah, I have underlined some verses in your Bible that mean so much to me and maybe you may find them helpful in your life. Many things have happened since I wrote this note to you. If the Lord _____ much longer there will be much more to happen. For this reason, keep your eyes on Jesus and he will keep you through problems. Hannah, trust the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding and He will direct your path. Hannah Faith, please, I love you, and need you to follow Jesus and we will make each other happy.

-Great Grumps
{Grandpa's handwriting is hard to read! I couldn't make out one of his words. :)}

Oh goodness, reading those words after burying my grandfather was almost too much. The magnitude of it all just really struck me. My daughter, who was an orphan just 14 months ago, had a great grandfather who prayed for her and wanted nothing more than for her to follow Jesus. I left a funeral home where so many people were crying, yet his words say "don't feel bad, as I'm in Heaven under the custody of our Lord Jesus Christ." It was such a powerful moment for me and a precious reminder. This life is not all we have. We are going to have problems and heartache and sorrow, but there is a beautiful prize waiting for us at the end.

In the last few weeks, we had some discouraging news regarding Hannah's remaining kidney. It is sometimes hard to NOT think about the future and what it holds and to be overcome with fear. I have to remind myself that this a journey made to take one day a time. If I worry too much about the future, I'm going to miss the present. Right now, my daughter is healthy and strong. She is growing. She spends her days laughing and running around with her siblings, who love her dearly. She wakes up and goes to bed at night, knowing that she is loved deeply and completely. When I was thinking about this letter from my grandfather, I decided to flip through her Bible and read the verses he boxed in. It was so perfect for where we are right now.

"No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life. As I was with Moses, so I will be with you. I will never leave you nor forsake you." Joshua 1:5

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

Thanks, Grumps. I needed to hear this. I know these words were meant for Hannah on her 18th birthday, but I needed them today.