Monday- Adoption day and Temple

Oh my, what a day!! This post is not for people with weak stomachs. So just stop reading now. We woke up at 6 am to a bed full of poop. The poor girl, the sheets and the comforter were covered in it. Her colostomy bag stayed on, but the adhesive came loose from her skin and it oozed out. It was a great wake up call. So, we woke her up and stuck her in the shower which led to a lot of screaming. We decided to go back to the diaper method the ayis use. The bag is not the right size, and although it is easier to change, it is not working out so well. We managed to keep her clean all day today... until about 5:45 tonight. We went out to eat and when we got back to the room, I picked her up to put her in my lap, and her entire shirt and jacket were covered. Back in the shower.... more screaming baby. Rick and I are over it, and so ready to get her back home to have this taken care of. I am hoping we made the right decision to not do this surgery in China. It is not fair to her to have to live like this, but I am hoping in the end it will all be worth it.

 

After our little incident this morning, we had breakfast in the hotel. It was pretty good! Hannah ate a ton. She had a bowl of congee, a bowl of fried rice, a yogurt and a bowl of watermelon. She is so independent. I was trying to feed her because the congee was hot. She took the bowl and spoon from me and shook her head no. Then she picked up the spoon, felt the bottom of it, blew on it, then took a bite. Hmmmm, guess she has done this before. She is an excellent eater. She even takes the spoon to get the leftovers off her face.

 

Rick met our guide at 9 to exchange money for the adoption and Hannah and I hung out and took pictures. We met the orphanage people at 10 to get our family picture taken. Then we signed all of the paperwork in our room. A little different experience compared to Emma's adoption! Tomorrow we meet with everyone again, but I am not sure of the purpose of that meeting.

 

We found a grocery store and picked up a few things. That is always an adventure! It is not so fun to be the center of attention everywhere we go. I know we look like a bunch of idiots trying to figure out what to buy. We just got enough stuff for lunch today and then hung out in the hotel for several hours. We met our guide at 3:00 to go to a temple. It was interesting, but once you have seen one temple you have seen them all. Especially when you are a Christian, the whole idea of worshipping buddhas seems so strange. Thankfully that visit did not take long. Our guide told us that the Hot Pot restaurant next to our hotel was excellent and they speak a little English so we decided to check it out. We found out that they don't speak any English and it was pretty entertaining trying to figure out what to order and how to cook the food. Hannah and Rick loved it, but I was not a fan. I needed a Big Mac after that meal.

 

Hannah's evening explosion led to another shower. When she got out, I just held her in the towel to give her skin a break from all of the bandages. She fell asleep in my arms. I was able to get her diaper on and put her in bed without her waking up. I plan on getting up 2 times tonight to change her. If we wake up with a poopy bed again, I don't think I will be able to hold my head up when I walk through the lobby. They will probably say... "There is the poopy American family!" 

 

 

I am trying to let Hannah explore and be curious because I know she has not had many opportunities. She was really quiet in the corner (she always gets quiet when she is doing something naughty) and I noticed she was pulling all the wipes out of the bag. I told her NO and took them away and she pouted. I had to take the "first pout" picture. She kept looking up to see if I was paying attention.

Today was her adoption day. She looked so pretty!

I let Hannah hold the desitin bottle when I was changing her. She put it on her face like lotion. Earlier I caught her with the cortizone cream rubbing it on her hands like lotion.

This was a sweet moment. She loves this kitty we brought her. She kisses her and likes to make her walk. She was rocking her back and forth in this picture.

Making it official!

We had peanut butter for lunch. She didn't like the sandwich, so I put it on a cracker and she liked to lick it off.

Our hot pot meal... the raw meat is lamb and beef. We didn't know what to do, so the lady was explaining it to us in Chinese. We looked at her like she was crazy, so she picked up the meat and veggies and threw it in. I guess we did it right, but who knows. Rick and Hannah were full when finished but not me!

Hannah did not let me feed her this meal either. I gave her the bowl and she asked for the chopsticks. She used them to test how hot the food was. When she knew it was OK, she gave me the chopsticks and ate with her hands. When she finished everything in the bowl, she said mama, mama and handed it to me for more. She had 4 bowls of food (which is maybe why she exploded everywhere!) We have noticed Hannah has a hard time understanding when to stop eating. If it is there, she wants to eat it. I know this is normal orphan behavior. She was obviously well fed at SF, but I also know they run on a tight schedule. You eat at certain times and you eat what is in front of you. If you don't, you wait until the next feeding time. Hannah needs to learn that food will be available at all times with us and you should stop eating when you are full. I know this will come with time and it is a different way of thinking for her.

She loved her food!

Here she is at the end of a long day. I feel like she is starting to trust me more. In the middle of the night she reached for me to cuddle her which she has not done yet. I am noticing that when I hold her, she is leaning into me a little more and not staying so tense. She was perfectly content to cuddle in my arms tonight after her shower and she fell right to sleep. I hope this is a turning point for her!

 

She likes it when I push her stroller, not Rick. Also, she calls me mama all the time now to get my attention. It is the cutest thing ever! This sweet girl has waited so long for a mama. I am glad that it is me!!

Sunday- travel day

We made it safely to Hohhot. It was really hard to say good-bye! I got really emotional when Hannah said good-bye to Kayla. It is so obvious they had a close relationship. I am so thankful for her and the love she gave my girl!!

 

 

I mentioned in my last post that Hannah's orphanage sent a doctor to escort us back to her province. Technically, Hannah's orphanage has custody over her and SFCV is simply the foster village. We signed the paper to give us guardianship, but that was only because the doctor came and had the form. We actually requested that we get to sign her over. The orphanage wanted the doctor and a representative from SFCV to fly with us to her province. Then, they wanted Hannah to stay with the doctor and her ayi in the hotel over night until our official adoption on Monday. I freaked out!! I told my agency to request that we sign the form, so that we could have her from here on out. Hannah would've been so confused if that happened! So, we are thankful we got her, but can I tell you how uncomfortable it is flying with a woman that speaks no English and keeps trying to talk to you?!?!?! No one came with us from SF, because there was no need now that we are the guardians and we know how to care for her. It was a looooong day with this woman. She was very sweet and really went out of her way to help us, but we were getting so frustrated with her!

 

 

After sitting on the runway for an hour and then an hour flight, we finally made it. Our hotel is amazing! The manager speaks perfect English which is an added bonus. We are settled in our room and it feels so good to be here! We went on a little walk to find dinner and of course ended up with McDonalds. I hate being on our own. No one speaks English and we don't know what is safe to eat. So, my daughter with major intestional issues just had her first cheeseburgers. Her ayis would freak out. She loved the fries and would suck the ketchup off of them.

 

We have been playing in the room for the last several hours. Hannah is SO SMART and so sweet!! She has talked more in the last few hours than she has since we got her. We are letting her explore and act like a toddler because we aren't sure she really ever had those experiences. I saw her poor all the water into her cheerios bowl and then drink it. I just let her do it. Then we let her play in the water in the bathroom and poor water from bowl to bowl. She was laughing and having a great time. It is all of those little experiences that go a long way in a child's development. I showed her how to put one of her diapers on her baby and she was cracking up. She thought it was the funniest thing ever!!

 

While I was typing this, Hannah was being really quiet. When I looked over at her, she had taken an orange, completely peeled it and was eating it. She even knew to spit the seeds out. The she picked up all the peels and threw them in the trash. She even put her hand down below the table and used her other hand to brush the small pieces into her hand. She is so smart and so independent. It is simply amazing given everything she has been through!

 

Enjoy the pictures. We have a great connection so there is a lot of them!

 

 

 Saying goodbye to Sara. We love her! She works so hard for these kiddos to get adopted.

 Saying goodbye to Kayla. Very emotional moment. We are so thankful for her!!

 First McDonalds meal...

 She found the bag with the hair stuff and wanted all of these in her hair.

 She was being naughty and mixing the water with the cheerios. I let her do it because it is good to explore! She has missed too many of those moments.

 Here she is walking with her baba to get dinner. At one point she reached her arm back and held my hand. She is SO SWEET!

Here she is learning how to change her baby's diaper.



Saturday

We had another relaxing day with nothing  on our agenda. We have loved this time to bond with our daughter. We love that she has learned to trust us in a place where she is comfortable. We leave early Sunday morning for Hannah's hometown, Hohhot in Inner Mongolia. This will be a difficult transition for our girl. We are praying that she will somehow understand what is happening.

The ayis in the house had their own system for cleaning and treating Hannah's colostomy site. It worked for them, because they stayed inside all day with little activity. But for us, it was not an ideal system. It was time consuming and messy, and when you are traveling across China and constantly on the go, it is not ideal. First thing this morning I got in touch with Dr. Moody and told him we need a colostomy bag. He had a supply in the clinic, so it was no big deal!!! I can't even begin to tell you how much easier it is to care for her with a bag. Her clothes stay clean, changing is less traumatic, and she can go hours without a changing. Much better!!

We tagged along with Kayla and her mom, Debbie, to run some errands today in Langfang. Hannah was very happy to be out. She was soaking it all in! We got many stares! It is always an adventure when you are the only white person in a busy city!

It was really important to me to have a picture with Hannah and Leah from her house. They shared a room together for the last year. Hannah has been a great big sister to Leah! Kayla has been working with Leah a lot, which is why Hannah is so attached to both of them. The doctor wouldn't let Leah come downstairs because she was too weak. The doctor talked to Hannah and told her we were going upstairs for a picture, but she was still leaving with mama and baba. She held it together long enough for a few pictures, but she was not happy. Her ayi said something to her, and her little lip popped out and she started to cry. Rick took her out right away. When I came downstairs, I gave her the biggest hug and told her she never has to live there again! The poor thing was probably so confused!

Hannah's home orphanage sent a doctor to escort us to the province. She brought with her a form to sign, giving us guardianship until her official adoption on Monday. This allows Hannah to stay with us from this moment on. We signed the form later Saturday night when I was already in my pajamas. That was a first... official paperwork in my pjs in the living room at Shepherd's Field!

We are so in love with our girl and ready for the next adventure with her!

 This is Hannah with Dr. Jane. This woman played a huge role in the survival of our daughter!!

Hannah is such a happy girl!!

Friday

Today was a great day. We really didn't do much and just had time to spend with our little girl. She is doing well and seems very happy. Even Dr. Moody said it just seems like she understands what is happening. When we woke up in the morning, she needed a shower because her colostomy site was so dirty, I didn't want to just clean it with a wipe. I can't wait to have this taken care of at home! We gave her fruit snacks in the shower and cleaned her quickly. She was not happy, but didn't throw a huge fit. For breakfast she ate a nutri grain bar, bowl of cheerios and her formula. She was so funny. When her bowl was empty, she handed it to me, said something in Chinese... then pointed to the door. I am pretty sure she wanted more. She is eating so much. Her ayis would die if they saw what I was feeding her.

 

We spent the afternoon walking around the village, blowing bubbles and coloring. We probably walked 500 laps around this place! It is interesting to see Hannah's behavior. Our first night here, she was so excited to show us her house and her room. She was happy with the ayis. But this morning, when we were blowing bubbles on the lawn, her ayis walked by to pick up lunch in the kitchen. She wanted nothing to do with them. We wanted a picture with these ladies (since they are the ones who helped save her life!) and she started crying .She didn't want to be with them. It is like she knew that she had already said good-bye and was finished. On our walks today, every time we got close to her house, she would point the other direction. She wanted to make sure that we were not going there. I had to meet with her doctors today, and their office is in her house. She threw a fit and would not go inside. Rick had to take her back to the inn so I could meet with them. She knows that she has a family now, and she isn't taking a chance of going back.

 

 

Hannah had a big bowl of rice and veggies for lunch, crackers for snack and pizza for dinner :) She loves to eat... so much that she is avoiding her special formula. When I asked her doctors about the formula and the purpose of it, they said "well, she is just so skinny and weak. We want her to grow strong!" HA! for as much as she has been through, "skinny" is not a word I would use! Dr. Moody explained that Hannah has been through so much, and is doing so well now. The ayis are afraid to do anything different with her, with fear they might mess something up. So, since she has been on a special liquid diet for so long, they think they must continue or something will go wrong again. He told me to feel free to do whatever I want. Dr. Jane really wants me to keep her on the formula until I get home. We will offer it to her morning and night. But, after 2 pieces of pizza for dinner, she stuck her nose up at the formula!

 

I feel really good about Hannah's medical needs. I know exactly what I need to do when I get home. I video taped Dr. Moody and Dr. Jane talking about her this morning. Dr. Moody said that she is the most complicated case they have ever seen. There were so many times that the hospital staff looked at them and wondered why they were even trying to help her. Or, so many times (he said 2 or 3) that they thought she would not pull through. But, she always did. He said that there must be big plans for her to have gone through so much and always survive. He gave all the credit to the ayis, who would stay in a small hospital room with her for 2-3 months at a time and sleep next to her on the floor. They complained when hospitals were not good, and advocated for her to be moved. They made sure she was cared for. He said that the coolest part of Hannah's story, is the beautiful witness she is to adoption. The ayis' eyes were opened when they saw that someone actually wanted to adopt Hannah. They thought is was amazing that someone would take her. We are thrilled to be that family. We love her so much already. We are anxious to get her home and give her the quality of life she needs and deserves!

 

 

Our biggest issue right now is sleeping. She doesn't want to go to bed. We had a Grady, an older orphan here at the village, tell her it was bed time and she must go to sleep. She shook her head NO and started to cry. She also hates being changed. I saw the ayis change her and she never cried. That makes me wonder if I am being too rough when I clean her or if the wipes I have are irritating her. We have to change every 2 hours, and she screams every time. We are a tiny bit worried about that plane ride home! Please pray for night time to go a little easier and for changing time to be a little less traumatic for her. 

 

This is Kayla and her mom. Kayla is the therapist here and her mom is here to visit. Hannah adores Kayla. Whenever she sees her, she runs to hug her or sit in her lap. Kayla spends a lot of time in Hannah's house with a little baby named Leah. Hannah loved to show Kayla where Leah was sleeping and to bring her stuffed animals. It is obvious that Kayla loved our girl and made her feel loved. It is a sweet relationship.

She learned how to blow bubbles quickly. She loves it!

She thought she was hot stuff eating at the big table and eating food that everyone else was eating. Big smiles the whole time!!

Dr. Ana is another person my girl obvisouly loves. Every time she saw her, she would run to her for a hug. So sweet. It is like she knows she needs to say good-bye to these people. Dr. Ana just had a birthday, and she said Hannah's adoption was by far the best gift she received.

We walked all day Friday! Here is Hannah with her house in the background. We really couldn't get much closer than that!

 

 

Dr. Jane is another person Hannah ran to for a hug when she saw her. Dr. Jane is the Chinese doctor here and really knows our girl well. Dr. Jane asked Hannah the other day if her mama was coming, and Hannah said, "YES, mama is!" I don't have a picture of Dr. Jane with her, but need to get one today!

pictures

It is really difficult to upload pics here, but I finally got a few. These are from our GOTCHA day. The post before this has a ton of typos, but the internet is too goofy to go back and fix it now. You guys get the point!

 

We are having a great morning. She looks adorable today in her new clothes... but those pics will come later on.



 

 Here is Sara carrying her over.

 She came right to me!

 She has been very happy with little tears!

She was teasing everyone with her candy and not sharing. Tim finally got her to share :)

Here is Hannah in her room. She was excited to show us her house. Not the best picture, but we will get some better ones later.



We are here! We are here! We are here!

We made is safely to the other side of the world. We had a perfect trip over, with no delays or hiccups along the way. We left our house Wednesday morning at 6:15 am and arrived at Shepherd's Field Children's Village outside of Beijing at 4:30 Thursday afternoon. One of my fears was that we would be so tired that we wouldn't remember meeting our daughter, or that we would be so tired and not have the energy to deal with a grieving child, let alone a child who has specific care instructions that we would have to learn before taking her. I prayed for sleep, but I also prayed that one way or another, God would give us the energy to get through the afternoon. I prayed that she would accept us and that we could be flexible with whatever situation presented itself.

Sara and Aaron were waiting for us when we arrived, along with a handful of other volunteers. Of course, the cameras were ready! Sara wanted to make sure that we wanted Hannah right away. She thought it would be best if she brought Hannah to us in the Inn, instead of us going to her. She said that there were so many babies in her house that cry a lot, and that is one of them started crying, it might set her off. She went to get her, with Aaron capturing it on camera the whole way. I video taped her walking down the path and then another volunteer video taped her when we met.

She came with Sara without crying. She walked in and straight to us. NO TEARS! Rick put his hands out to hold her, and she put her arms out to accept his embrace. She then let me hold her. We gave her a stuffed animal that we brought and she loved it. She went from me to Rick willingly, never shedding a tear. We gave her fruit snacks because we know she loves candy! Everyone was speechless!! No one would've guessed that this was the response Hannah would have. For so long she has feared everyone. It is so obvious that her heart has been well prepared. Maybe all those nights that I dreamed about her, she was dreaming about us. Maybe she just knew and understood what was happening.

We immediately went it to get on skype (although it was a little early back home...) and to post a message on facebook that we were OK. She sat in our lap while we were on the computer, never once trying to squirm away. We walked around with her, chatted with the volunteers and just hung out for an hour around the inn. She walked around like she owned the place. She played a little game with us when we started teasing her that we would take her fruit snacks away. She has quite a sense of humor, too!!

Tim Baker arrived around 5:45 with dinner for everyone. Hannah is supposed to be on mostly liquids, but she ate an entire bowl of rice with egg, broccoli, and dumplings. She is a great eater and it is obvious that she is well fed! She is so heavy!!!! She is definitely bigger than Emma Grace right now. She has chubby cheeks and solid little legs!We have to be extra careful with what she eats, due to her special needs, but I wanted her to trust us. One way to build trust is through food.

After dinner, we skyped quickly with our family. She waved to them and pointed to each person and tried to say their name. After Skype we had to go to Hannah's house so the ayi could show us how to care for her. This was a little overwhelming!!! She is on 4 medications for her heart. Sara labeled everything for us in English and told us when to give everything. The ayi showed us how to change her. Hannah is living with a colostomy right now. We made the decision to hold this surgery until we come back home. We really struggled with this decision, but felt that long term it would be in her best interest to have this completed at home. It has to be cleaned and changed every 2 hours. She should be wearing a bag, but the ayi have their own system for how they changed it. We learned that way, but we will have to do something more secure when we get home. Changing her every 2 hours is not practical with our lifestyle.

As we were walking back to Hannah's house from the Inn, she got so excited and started to run. You can tell she was happy to take her mama and baba to her home. A little heartbreaking to think about. She walked in and ran to the stairs, then stopped to put her arms up so we would carry her. She went into her room, and showed us her bed. It was so sweet. The doll we sent was in the corner of the bed. I love that. She smiled at her ayis as they talked to her. It is SO OBVIOUS that she was loved and cared for. We will be forever grateful for that.

Dr. Moody shared with us that this will be hard on the ayis, too. They have cared for her for 3 years. Some of them have spent months at a time in the hospital with her, advocating for her care. He said that one time, the ayis got so mad with how the hospital was treating her, they came back and had Dr. Moody switch the hospitals. I love that. She had so many people fighting for her here. You can't hide the excitement from a 3 year old when she walked into that house. This was someone place she felt loved and comfortable.

When we got back to our room in the inn, she started to freak out a little bit. Hannah was very clean we got her. Her hair was clean, her face smelled like lotion, and her clothes were clean. Her fingernails were a little long with a little bit of dirt in the nails. This is totally normal and to be expected. In fact, when we were in her house and the ayi was changing her, she noticed a small amount of poop had gotten on her clothes. She changed her immediately. Let me tell you, this would not have happened in a government run orphanage. Rick couldn't even see the spot that was dirty. We took her shoes off and she cried. We noticed her shoes were a little small and her socks were dirty. Probably because the shoes don't come off very often. We took her socks off and she really cried!! We gave her some food to calm her down, then we washed her feet and hands in the sink and clipped her nails. You should never remove the clothing of an orphan right way, or give them a bath. Those smells and clothes make them feel comfortable. Even if they are stinky (which thankfully, she was not...) you just need to grin and bear it. She got so upset about her shoes, so I pulled her new shoes out and let her put on clean socks and shoes. This made her happy. I asked her if she wanted to get in bed with me and she kepy whimpering and shaking her head NO. We turned out the light and got in bed and let her walk around the room. I saw her yawn a few times. I got up to get her some crackers and then I put them in bed. This made her get in between us :) Rick and I drifted off, but she just sat there, with her shoes on. Every time I woke up, she was sitting there. Finally, I saw her bend over and put her head down... until finally I woke up and she was asleep next to us. She had fallen to sleep without crying. I really think this was the case because we let her keep everything on and didn't force it.

I set the alarm to change her around midnight. Through that entire process, she did not budge. I love it! It was a mess, since it had been several hours since her last changing. She slept through it all and I got her back to bed with no issues. She was a restless sleeper, but made it through the night. She is still sleeping. When she wakes, I am going to give her a shower and changed her clothes, wish me luck!!

Overall, it was a beautiful afternoon. She is trusting us. She understands. God has definitely spoken to her and calmed her fears. We have so much to share about our girl, but that will come in the next few days. So many happy tears were wiped away today. So many people wanted to be here to see this moment. It was truly special. We will be forever grateful to the staff of SFCV and the care they have given our daughter.

Hannah's videos

On the side of my blog I posted some videos that we are so blessed to have. Throught the miracle of Facebook, I was connected with a lady who was at SFCV the day Hannah arrived. She interviewed Dr. Moody right before Hannah arrived. They are in reverse order, so start at the bottom and go up. We are so thankful to have this piece of Hannah's history!

Hannah is 10 months old in these videos.